Whitecaps advance to Round One with Wild Card rout
Vancouver Whitecaps FC scored early and didn’t stop scoring in a 5-0 romp over the Portland Timbers last night. Ryan Gauld delivered a hat trick in the Western Conference Wild Card match. Vancouver will now face LAFC in a Round One Best-of-3 Series, which begins Sunday (9:45 pm ET | Apple TV - Free).
Philadelphia sign Sullivan to contract extension
The Philadelphia Union have signed homegrown midfielder Quinn Sullivan to a contract extension through 2027 with an option for 2028. The 20-year-old US youth international is coming off a breakout season and has 10g/13a in 94 career matches. He initially turned pro with Philly ahead of their 2021 season.
Well then. Let’s talk it out.
I can’t remember a team that made me look dumber than the Whitecaps made me look last night, and I picked Atlanta United to finish first in the Eastern Conference.
The Whitecaps, despite having to go on the road for a game they earned hosting rights for, scored off a pinballing set piece that somehow fell to Ryan Gauld inside the box and only made life worse for Portland from there. The ‘Caps scored twice more in the next 11 minutes and Portland completely deflated. I mean, my goodness. Can you remember a team just imploding like that at home? Vancouver took full advantage of their opportunities… but woof, Portland self-immolated.
As embarrassing as that was for a Portland team that played their worst game of the season at the worst time, it’s a remarkable moment for a Vancouver team whose whole reputation is centered around not stepping up in those moments. They obliterated a narrative last night… at least for a bit. Now, they have to turn around and somehow turn this momentum into positive results against LAFC.
They instantly went nuclear hot last night, though. They have newfound confidence and their struggles heading into the Audi MLS Cup Playoffs don’t mean anything anymore. They even got Stuart Armstrong on the board. You couldn’t have scripted it better.
I am dumb. Congrats to Vancouver and Vanni Sartini, who are better than me.
Now that we know who’s advanced from the Wild Card matches, we can take on the most important task of the playoffs.
Last year, we encouraged everyone to join us in our first-ever “Failure Bracket.” We handed you the task of picking the worst possible bracket in the Audi MLS Cup Playoffs Bracket Challenge, and so many of you failed so hard. Some of you even failed at failing. We had three people accidentally get the entirety of Round One correct in the traditional sense. Yet none of you got the entire round “correct” in the “trying to miss every pick” sense.
It’s time to correct that. You can join The Daily Kickoff’s Bracket Challenge league. From there, your job is to pick the worst bracket possible. Remember: PICK THE TEAM YOU THINK IS GOING TO LOSE. This is a monument to mediocrity. Not a pursuit of greatness.
Here’s how my bracket shook out.
WESTERN CONFERENCE ROUND ONE
(1) LAFC vs. (8) Vancouver Whitecaps FC
- Failure Pick: Vancouver Whitecaps FC
Ain’t no one making money betting against LAFC the last few years… unless they’re playing Columbus.
(4) Seattle Sounders FC vs. (5) Houston Dynamo FC
- Failure Pick: Houston Dynamo FC
I went back and forth on this one multiple times. Both teams have very similar traits that make picking against and for them rather difficult. Only two teams in the West allowed fewer than 40 goals this season and they’re meeting in this series. They’ve also scored fewer goals than any other playoff team in the West. Goals will be at a premium and, for our purposes, that increases the variance of what could happen here. We could look back a couple of weeks from now and be talking about how we should have seen Houston winning twice on penalties despite scoring no goals in regulation time from a mile away.
In the end, the Sounders have earned 2.22 points per game since Leagues Cup. We’re going to lean towards the hotter team and the home team.
(3) Real Salt Lake vs. (6) Minnesota United FC
- Failure Pick: Real Salt Lake
I couldn’t get out of the West without picking an upset. And this series seems primed for one. RSL are an excellent side, but they’re still integrating new pieces while getting absolutely nothing out of Chicho Arango for months. That’s not a recipe for postseason success.
Meanwhile, the Loons have been one of the hottest teams in the league since DP striker Kelvin Yeboah arrived. He’s scored seven times in his first eight starts and the Loons have been putting up outstanding numbers. Since Leagues Cup, they’re third in MLS in points per game and first in expected points per game. This hasn’t been a fluke.
(2) LA Galaxy vs. (7) Colorado Rapids
- Failure Pick: Colorado Rapids
Both teams score a ton of goals and allow a ton of goals. Normally that kind of variance would worry us, but it’s clear the Rapids have called it a day since finishing in third place in Leagues Cup. They’ve averaged 1.13 points per game since then and their underlying numbers haven’t been much better. “Cooked” comes to mind. They could always surprise us, but that doesn’t look likely.
EASTERN CONFERENCE ROUND ONE
(1) Inter Miami CF vs. (9) Atlanta United
- Failure Pick: Atlanta United
I’m well aware of what Atlanta did against Miami this year. The Five Stripes took four of six points from the Herons this season. No other team did that. And, yes, Atlanta have pulled together three straight remarkable results. And, yes, I can remind everyone again that Atlanta’s underlying numbers have been much better than Miami’s this season. But… c’mon, I’ve got to play this safe here, right?
(4) Orlando City SC vs. (5) Charlotte FC
- Failure Pick: Orlando City SC
My Eastern Conference upset pick has Orlando coming up short against Charlotte. I… do not feel great about it, but I would have felt worse about going chalk.
Here’s the thing: Both of these teams are “hot at the right time.” The Lions have been one of the hottest teams in the East on points per game since Leagues Cup. Only Miami and Columbus have earned more points. No one in the East has had better underlying numbers in that span.
But Charlotte are hot, too. They earned 13 points over their final five games. They bounced back from a three-game losing streak (that admittedly included a loss to Orlando) in style. With their solidity on defense and their increasing cohesiveness in attack, they feel like the kind of team most likely to pull off an upset in Round One. I’ll go with The Crown here.
(3) FC Cincinnati vs. (6) New York City FC
- Failure Pick: New York City FC
NYCFC’s penchant for looking like the best team in the East at random moments has me worried here. But, in the end, I think Cincy are too experienced to falter against an extremely young and volatile team like NYCFC.
(2) Columbus Crew vs. (7) New York Red Bulls
- Failure Pick: New York Red Bulls
In my non-failure bracket, I have the Crew winning MLS Cup again. So, yeah. I don’t think the team that’s averaged 0.67 points per game since Leagues Cup is going to beat Columbus.
WESTERN CONFERENCE SEMIFINALS
(5) Houston Dynamo FC vs. (8) Vancouver Whitecaps FC
- Failure Pick: Houston Dynamo FC
Have I mentioned I can’t believe what happened last night? If Vancouver upset LAFC, I’m sure as hell not picking against them in the next round. I’m a man willing to learn lessons.
(3) Real Salt Lake vs. (7) Colorado Rapids
- Failure Pick: Colorado Rapids
The Bizzaro Rocky Mountain Cup doesn’t end well for the Rapids. Did I mention they haven’t been all that great at soccer lately?
EASTERN CONFERENCE SEMIFINALS
(4) Orlando City SC vs. (9) Atlanta United
- Failure Pick: Atlanta United
All due respect to the Five Stripes and their late-season push, but this group runs out of gas eventually… right? Right???
(6) New York City FC vs. (7) New York Red Bulls
- Failure Pick: New York Red Bulls
The Bizarro Hudson River Derby goes to the team that just won this exact matchup 5-1 a few weeks ago.
WESTERN CONFERENCE FINAL
(5) Houston Dynamo FC vs. (7) Colorado Rapids
- Failure Pick: Colorado Rapids
Houston are the much, much better team right now. I feel bad that I had to put them this deep into the bracket.
EASTERN CONFERENCE FINAL
(7) New York Red Bulls vs. (9) Atlanta United
- Failure Pick: New York Red Bulls
The narrative is Atlanta typically don’t beat the Red Bulls… except in the playoffs.
MLS FAILURE CUP
Colorado Rapids vs. New York Red Bulls
- Failure Pick: New York Red Bulls
For me, this is the absolute least likely matchup. Both of these teams are nosediving just in time for the playoffs. If it comes to this, I’m picking against New York. We have over a decade-plus of data points here suggesting they won’t win MLS Cup. Precedent is on my side.
TOTAL NUMBER OF GOALS SCORED IN THE TOURNAMENT: 1
And it’s going to be an own goal, too.
Happy failing to the rest of you, but I’m feeling pretty bad about this year.
Austin sign Hines-Ike to contract extension: Austin FC have signed center back Brendan Hines-Ike to a contract extension through 2025 with an option for 2026. The veteran defender made 28 appearances (25 starts) for Austin in his first season with the club, tallying 2g/1a in 2,222 minutes.
- Vancouver turned to their secret ingredient last night.
Good luck out there. Feel at home anywhere you go.
