Oil spills in the Gulf of Mexico. LeBron James out of the NBA playoffs. Law & Order cancelled.
It’s time to panic, people.
Weekends should never be cause for a crisis, but the writing’s on the wall. Be it Steve Nicol, Manuel Pellegrini or the sucker who drops $10 to see Robin Hood at the multiplex, somebody’s not getting through Sunday without hitting the panic button.
In The East: New England Revolution vs. San Jose Earthquakes
This Saturday showdown comes with built-in excuses for the Revs, who have seemingly been undermanned all season. The body count in New England’s triage unit on Wednesday night was so bad, only 14 players boarded the bus for the team’s 3-0 flop to the Red Bulls in a US Open Cup play-in match in New Jersey.
How bad was it? Forward Kheli Dube was stuck playing holding midfielder, a sure sign that all is not well in Revland. The team’s first seven weeks can’t sit well with coach Steve Nicol or a suddenly frenzied fan base, and it’s tough to assume another loss won’t have Nicol in distress. This could be a matchup of two trains passing in the night: the Revs chugging along on a broken rail, and the Quakes rolling into town on a full head of steam.
In The West: New York Red Bulls vs. Seattle Sounders
Traditionally the biggest summer weekend in Seattle is Labor Day, when artists like Modest Mouse and De La Soul fly in for Bumbershoot. But forgive Sounders fans from eyeing another weekend likely in late June or July, when Blaise Nfuko arrives to save the day.
No team has been so harshly yanked from the top shelf this season quite like the Sounders, who landed at the bottom of the Western Conference with a thud after last weekend’s 4-0 roundhouse from the LA Galaxy. Nfuko was actually in town this week, perhaps to meet the players or scout for a home in Madison Park, but not long enough for the magic to rub off.
The Sounders need a tide change as badly as any team in the league right now, but the Jersey outskirts have proven a cushy home for the Red Bulls so far this season. If the Sounders aren’t sweating Nfuko’s summer arrival yet, another loss on Saturday night might turn up the heat.
In Europe: Barcelona vs. Valladolid, Málaga vs. Real Madrid
No one rattles sabres in the press like José Mourinho. The Inter Milan coach this week all but laid siege on Manuel Pellegrini’s 401(k) plan, telling the press that he’ll be the man at Real Madrid “sooner or later.”
Gulp.
As if there wasn’t enough pressure on Los Merengues, who have had 10 different managers in the last seven years and traditionally have no qualms about axing the bosses who don’t get it done. Barcelona holds the three-point edge for La Liga’s final weekend, so these Sunday showdowns could be nothing more than a formality, which means the fallout could be more interesting than the games.
Listen Up: The National, High Violet
No one revels in crisis like Matt Berninger; in fact, the National’s success depends on it. The brooding songwriter is back on his game on this week’s best new album, lamenting the woes of 30-something yuppies everywhere longing for a better buzz or a bigger paycheck. Pitchfork drops the Brooklyn-via-Cincinnati group into the dubious sub-genre of “men’s magazine rock,” but at least these guys are the best at it.
Bookmark: Nouriel Roubini and Stephen Mihm, Crisis Economics
Released last week, Roubini’s book hits shelves four years after he predicted the global financial meltdown, and two years after you filed for unemployment. Labeled “Dr. Doom” after his 2006 claim that a US housing bust would someday cripple the economy, Roubini attempts to describe how it all came crashing down. English majors, don’t sweat: This book doesn’t require any experience in basic econ, and it’s a good place to start if you’re wondering why exactly you’re reading this from your mother’s basement.
At the Theater: Robin Hood
Remember when Russell Crowe could do no wrong? Really, it wasn’t that long ago. Australia’s Oscar-winning, telephone-heaving Rugby fanatic was Hollywood’s most marketable figure only six years ago. But his last few movies tanked at the box office, and he needs a hit. He’s gone back to basics with equally rusty director Ridley Scott to remake Gladiator in Sherwood Forest, but the reviews so far say Crowe’s arrow misses the target.
Nick Firchau is a new media editor at MLSsoccer.com. “The Weekender” appears every Friday.
