England goalkeeper David James conceded his 10th goal in just two games as Chelsea cruised into the fourth round of the Carling Cup.
Chelsea picked up where Manchester City left off at the weekend by rattling four past a hapless, injury-hit Portsmouth.
Frank Lampard scored twice - the first from the penalty spot - while Florent Malouda and the eye-catching Salomon Kalou joined in the fun.
Portsmouth had not beaten Chelsea since a 1-0 League Cup victory at Fratton Park in December 1960, in the days when Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho had film fans screaming in their cinema seats.
Pompey fans have already witnessed two defensive horror shows this season, with a 4-0 opening-day defeat at Chelsea followed by a 6-0 thrashing by City just last Saturday.
And they will have been covering their eyes again at Fratton Park as a mixture of careless and comical defending gifted Chelsea another resounding victory.
Nadri Belhadj conceded a needless penalty for Chelsea's first and David James then failed to gather Kalou's cross, allowing Lampard to bundle home the third.
The Ivorian was Chelsea's most lively player all evening and then sliced through a non-existent Portsmouth defense to make it four.
"We want seven," taunted the Chelsea fans.
It has not all been X-rated at Fratton Park this season. The club celebrated their UEFA Cup debut last week - but the fixture congestion is testing Harry Redknapp's squad to the limit.
With injuries to cope with and a busy week ahead, including the return tie at Vitoria, Redknapp made five changes but even with three deep-lying midfielders they were again brittle at the back.
Chelsea boss Luiz Felipe Scolari made six changes to the side that drew 1-1 with Manchester United but he continued the club's policy of attacking the Carling Cup.
Didier Drogba returned to the starting XI alongside Lampard and Ballack while £9million defender Branislav Ivanovic was awarded a long-awaited first-team debut.
Drogba almost rifled the opening goal inside two minutes after some neat Chelsea passing on the edge of the Portsmouth box.
Portsmouth responded in positive fashion. John Utaka accelerated past Wayne Bridge but his cross was just too far behind Peter Crouch, who had started up front on his own.
Lampard was forced into a last-ditch block inside his own six-yard box after an inviting cross from Glen Johnson and Crouch crashed the rebound into the side-netting.
But that was the best of the Portsmouth chances as Chelsea began to assume control in a workmanlike, unflashy way.
Kalou squeezed his shot wide after latching onto a lofted ball from Juliano Belletti before darting into the box again and forcing Johnson into a well-timed challenge.
Chelsea manufactured the opening 10 minutes before the interval after Drogba and Lampard combined to find Malouda down the left flank.
Malouda's cross was just behind the first ranks of blue shirts flooding into the box but Ballack raced onto the loose ball.
He toed the ball forward and was brought down by a careless lunge from Belhadj. Referee Steve Bennett pointed straight to the spot and Lampard's low drive was unstoppable.
Malouda rifled Chelsea's second past James in the last minute of the half after being picked out by a clever ball from Kalou, Portsmouth's tormentor in chief.
Kalou was at it again moments after the re-start as Lampard scored his second in bizarre circumstances.
James succeeded only in deflecting Kalou's cross onto Lampard's knee and the ball dribbled almost apologetically into the net. Lampard reacted sheepishly, as if he thought the goal would be disallowed, and it was not until he raised his arm that the 3,000 Chelsea supporters positioned down the other end even realised a goal had been scored.
The tempo was pedestrian with Portsmouth, featuring three deep-lying midfielders, unable to offer anything in response.
After playing such an effective supporting role Kalou then helped himself, cutting in from the right flank to beat a non-existent Portsmouth defense and score from 12 yards.
